I Want a Do-Over

I don’t have all that many opportunities to be truly ashamed of myself these days, so I guess I should savor this one. Yeah, we were all on vacation, and yeah, you’re an older guy, and yeah, your wife is a lovely person, but I still should have said something suitably withering after your racist joke. Especially since it’s the second year in a row that we’ve happened to be vacationing at the same place at the same time, and you told a similarly racist joke last year. And I’m not sure, because I don’t really appreciate racist jokes, but I don’t think your joke was even a little bit funny, and I’m pretty sure you told it just to make the Easterners feel uncomfortable. Shit, even my daughters know enough to light somebody up if they’re as miserable and racist and assholish as you are. I realize that it would have been super uncomfortable for everyone, and it would have made dinner really tense, and then I’d be the Bad Guy, but goddamit, too many people have put up with too much from douchebags like you. Now I have to spend all year thinking about what I should have done, and trying to come up with the absolutely perfect thing to say next year in the event that we end up in the same place at the same time again. In the meantime, I hope you drive your truck into a ditch and get trampled by bison and your totally nice wife marries a black guy.




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